Life as a single mother was no walk in the park. Add variable income to the mix, and it often felt like I was trying to build a house during an earthquake. Trust me, I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. Unfortunately, most of my insecurity was due to my ignorance, terrible decisions, and shame.
I stared at the piling bills, wondering how I was going to make it all work. I’ve made poor financial decisions out of desperation, and I’ve neglected savings because, “How can I save when there’s not enough?” – And I learned the hard way that a strong plan, even with fragile income, is the solution. The lifeline we all need.
I didn’t understand everything, but I learned some lessons through my financial failures and triumphs. If you are in a place where you feel like it is impossible to control things, let me tell you – you can. It starts with understanding where you are and building something, no matter how small, to get to where you want to be.
Step One: Budget based on reality, not hope
One of my biggest mistakes was planning as if my best-case scenario paycheck was a certainty each month. When you’re dealing with variable income, it’s a recipe for stress and late fees. I’ve learned to base my budget (or forecast in my case) on my expectations minimum Expected income instead. When things come out better than expected, it’s a bonus, but I don’t rely on it to drive fundamentals. During the short period, I was receiving what amounted to child support, which I considered a bonus because he was never reliable in either delivery or amount.
Dividing my expenses into fixed (rent, utilities) and variable (groceries, gas) categories has changed my life, too. It’s humbling to admit how many times I’ve overspent on things I didn’t really need because I felt overwhelmed or wanted to make life feel “normal” for my kids. But sticking to a realistic budget would have been a much better move. I had to learn the hard way, and I hope that by documenting my failures, you will do a better job than me.
Step 2: Save…even when it seems impossible
Let me talk to you – saving money when you can barely spend it is ridiculous. I spent years telling myself, “I’ll start saving when things get better,” and then watching It never gets better. What I’ve learned is that even a small amount — $5 here, $10 there — starts to add up and, more importantly, builds a habit.
Creating an emergency fund where I keep at least $1,000 in a separate account that I don’t touch unless I have to has been life-changing. There’s just a mental sigh of relief I breathe when this box is fully stocked. It’s really worth it. Try it.
Achieving this goal was difficult at first, but I started small. When I had an unexpectedly good month, I added a little more. Now, I sleep better knowing that if my car breaks down or an unexpected bill comes up, I won’t immediately fall into panic mode.
Step 3: Make a plan for the good months
That’s the thing about variable income: spikes can seem like windfalls, but if you’re not careful, they disappear just as quickly. I’ve learned (the hard way) that the good months are my chance to play catch-up.
Now, whenever I’m having a better month than usual, I use a simple system:
- Pay off any late bills or high-interest debts.
- Add to my emergency fund.
Step 4: Use tools that make life easier
Although I’m naturally organized, using a spreadsheet has been a game-changer for me. Some prefer apps like You Need a Budget (YNAB) But just using Google Sheets helps me keep track of what comes in and what goes out. It’s not about perfection, it’s about staying aware. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided an overdraft simply because I checked my expectations before spending.
Step 5: Give yourself grace
Here’s the truth: no plan is perfect. I still have months where I mess up, or when an unexpected expense ruins everything, or when I simply feel overwhelmed and make a bad choice. But I don’t let those moments define me anymore.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it’s not about perfection; It’s about perseverance. Every month is a new opportunity to do a little better than last month. When I fall short, I try to learn from it, forgive myself, and move on.
Bottom line
Being a single mom on a variable income is tough—and it’s nothing that can be sugarcoated. But having a plan, even a simple one, can be the difference between barely surviving and starting to thrive. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
If you’re in a place where the walls seem to be closing in on you, take a deep breath. Start small. Create that emergency fund, even if it’s only $20 at a time. Budget for the reality of your life, not the life you wish you could live.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. We’re all discovering this one step at a time, and every step forward is worth celebrating.
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