A New Beginning: Rediscovering Myself After Emptying the Nest

Written by Hope

I wrote this week about the burden lifted when my beauty bought a car. To be honest, while I sometimes noticed the limits or restrictions that car sharing imposed on me, it was rarely a challenge.

But it was amazing how making that small commitment changed my way of thinking.

Single mother, sole breadwinner

As a single mother, my life revolved around my children.I know the BAD community has many opinions about how much it has.Every decision and every action was driven by the desire to provide the best possible life for them. I balanced work, child-rearing and home responsibilities, Always with the weight of being the sole provider.The pressure was immense, but it gave my life a clear purpose. However, when my children grew up and left the nest, I faced a challenge I had not anticipated: rediscover myself. (This became apparent last year when the three boys moved to different states and the princess moved into a school dorm for the year.)

When I left Gymnastics for Texas last summer, I found myself standing in a quiet house. The silence was deafening. For the first time in years, I didn’t have a busy schedule dictating my every move. No school events to attend, no meals to prepare at specific times, no late-night conversations to reassure them that everything would be okay. It was pure chaos. just me. (Yes, beauty still exists. It’s just a whole different thing when a child comes into your family and they’re grown. It’s not a judgment, it’s just a whole different thing.

Emptiness and sadness

At first, I felt so empty. I felt a mixture of emotions: pride in the independent individuals my children had become, sadness at the end of an era, and a profound sense of loss. Who was I if not their mother? The role that had defined me for so long was no longer my primary focus, leaving me feeling disconnected.

The emotional challenges were real. I had to face the fact that I had neglected my needs and dreams for years. The intense pressure I was under to be a mother and provider for my children left little room for self-reflection or personal growth. I realized I had to redefine my identity and find a new purpose that worked for me alone.

I began by giving myself permission to grieve. It was important to acknowledge the end of this chapter of my life. I allowed myself to feel the sadness and loss, recognizing that these feelings were a natural part of transition. My therapist friends helped me navigate this uncharted territory.Did you know that my background was in social work? I started my career there, so I have a large group of therapist friends that have been around for a long time. While I never formally went to therapy, I definitely turned to friends when I was sinking for some guidance and tough love.

Discover who I am now

Slowly, I began to explore interests and hobbies that I had neglected. I took a macramé class because the princess loved it. It was definitely not my thing, but I was proud of myself for taking the class. I started keeping a journal, putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper, which helped me process the changes I was going through. I even started knitting again, a hobby I had picked up with the princess about 8 years ago in Virginia but had given up when life got busier.I’ll never be an expert at anything creative, my mind doesn’t work that way, but it’s nice to get a break from the computer.)

With each new activity, I discovered a part of myself that had been buried under the responsibilities of motherhood. I found joy in the simple act of creating, or at least trying to create something new, whether it was a plate in the kitchen or a square of rope for macramé weaving. Expanding my social circle The hardest thing for me has been being away from my kids’ activities. Because of my hearing loss and introversion, I still rely heavily on my network of friends and family who knew me before…before moving to Georgia, and before the extreme isolation of this small town.

As I embarked on these new experiences, I began to feel a shift within me. I was letting go of the pressures of being the sole breadwinner, and with it, a burden I didn’t fully realize I was carrying. I was no longer relying solely on my role as a mother. I was rediscovering my identity as an individual.

Empowerment and growth

This journey of self-discovery has led me to a new discovery. Feeling empoweredI realized that I had the strength and resilience to reinvent myself. The skills and qualities that made me a devoted mother and caregiver now help me forge a new path. I became more confident in pursuing opportunities that excited me, both personally and professionally.

In this new chapter of my life, I am more than just a mother. I am a woman who has rediscovered her passion and embraced her individuality. The emotional challenges of this transition have been significant, but it has also paved the way for tremendous personal growth. I am grateful for the journey and excited for the future, knowing that I have the power to continually evolve and create a fulfilling and unique life.

To any other single mom facing a similar transition, know that it’s normal to feel lost at first.(Or even those who haven’t been there yet, please be careful, it’s coming and it’s tough!) Enjoy the journey of self-discovery, and remember that this new beginning is an opportunity to become the best version of yourself. Your nest may be empty, but your life is full of endless possibilities.

And this girl has some really big plans! Things have changed…

I feel strong and hopeful. It makes a huge difference in every aspect of my life, especially financially and professionally! The best is yet to come, I know it.

Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business executive who helps clients grow their businesses and operate more efficiently by leveraging her expertise in project management, digital marketing, and technology solutions. She recently became an empty nester mom as her five adopted children spread their wings. She lives with her three dogs in a small town in Northeast Georgia and would rather live in the mountains than the beach any day. She struggles with travel fever and does her best to help each of her children finish school and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting firm for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the spring of 2015 and feels like she’s finally at a place where she can truly focus on making wise financial decisions.